As the tables turn...
It's funny how the other day I was at K's house and asked him to stay the night, he replied "Staying the night is a characteristic of a relationship." It bothered me SO much, more than you could imagine and I asked quit a few people what they thought and many of those people agreed with me that it was a crock of shit and that's not what it indicated, at least not in our situation. The point to my rambling is, I stayed the night with him the other night. I went over there for well you know and before our SECOND round, he told me I could stay for a while if I wanted to. I didn't plan to, I just ended up falling asleep and when I woke up, it was 5 a.m. and I figured I get some early morning you know. I guess I fell back asleep cause when we woke up at 6 he had to get up and get to work. It's even funnier cause when he told me that I could stay, he said I had to get up and leave with him, which was not a problem at all, but I hid under the blanket till he was ready to go and instead of him kicking me out like he usually would, he said I could sleep in if I want to and let myself out later. Loverly!! What I find amusing is 2 days prior to that, he was the one saying that he didn't want that cause it was too serious for him and it was a "characteristic of a relationship", then all of a sudden. I did end up telling him like 8 outta 10 people agreed with me but he's a grown man and I don't think that he would let that affect his decisions.
LOL... Anyways, life has been mediocre. I've been stressed and bored and really just going out of my mind. I went running today and yesterday and did some exercise but that's about it. I had that board meeting on Friday, along with an interview with a temp agency in Walnut Creek so hopefully I start working ASAP. My instructor from school is going to try and find me a job with one of his collegues. It's exciting to know that I have a few connections but there just aren't enough jobs in the area.
I got an email from my friend, S, from Iraq. I sent him a St. Christopher charm/medallion to wear. St. Christopher is the protector of travelers. It made me feel SO much better knowing that he was wearing it. I know it's probably stupid of me for being as happy about it as I was but really it made me happy to know that. I'm sending him 2 more letters. Latley he's been my favorite person to write and talk to and vent to. Sometimes it sucks that he's not home so I can talk to him face to face but when he does get home, he and I got a date. LOL...
Anyways.. K's calling me so Imma go cause he's prob gonna come through. G'night!!
Labels: Companionship, Funnystuff, Iraq, Life
Treat Like Shit= Stick Like Flies
An ex friend on mine once told me that men treat women like shit, and those women stick to them like flies. I recently realized what truth was in that saying, I completley understand that now. Sometimes I feel like K treats me like shit but I keep coming back. I was never like that with P even though I have a push-pull mentality. P wasn't much to me but a common, well you know. I thought it was interesting so I thought I would share it with ya'll. It's reasons like that and sayings like that that make me want to quit him and I think for a while I am. Well G'night ya'll...
Labels: Companions, Flies, Relationships, Women
Can I just say
WOW... I just got back from K's and Wow!! That was the best that we 've had since we started messin around. It was so good and slow and then sped up to take us both to the max. LOL!! I know ya'll probably don't want to know any of this but it was so good I feel impelled to tell ya'll this. It started out as nothing much me servicing him and then I stopped to see if he'd start anything. I told him he should do it for me and was like "oh I don't do that" and I completley stopped. He told me to leave cause I was teasing him and he didn't like it as much as I was dishing it. After I finagled my way back, he said I was in "time-out" and I should prob leave but I started up again and after being put on top and working my magic, I finagled my way out of "time-out" and we had a wonderful session. It was soo good my legs trembled, I even told him it was good and he was like "I'm glad you liked it." Oh boy did I like it. Lol. I'm sure all of you didn't want to know this but WOW!! It was that good!!.. lol.. Alright I think I'm gonna go do some sit ups or something and go to bed. G'night!!!
P.S. This by the way is K, if anybody was wondering what he looked like... Lol.. I heart this!!!
Labels: Good Times, Making Love, Sex, Wow
Who'd a thunk it...
I'm sick now, lying in bed all day with hot/cold flashes and I still feel like shit. Who'd a thunk it, right? lol... K got me sick and thas that but he doesn't even want to take care of me when I'm down. We're not dating but he was being a butt the other night and I called him when I got home and asked him if he would be honest and tell me when and if he didn't want to f**k anymore and he was like yea. So then last night, I get this message from saying "Alright I need a week break" like we're dating or something. It pisses me off cause yesterday when I was at his house his roommate, E, was there and was like "oh it's your man's" and was like "I thought you guys were dating". I corrected it and was like "na, he's not mine, and that's his choice." We're not together! I mean I wouldn't mind it but he's being a butt latley and I'm kinda glad that he wants this "break". I kinda hate that I've been so codependent for someone, anyone and latley it's been kinda fallin on him. I want him to lay next to me. It's one of my needs that must be taken care of. I am so used to and comfortable with someone next to me and kinda falls on him these days. He doesn't want it though but thas coo. It just sucks cause I'm sick and I feel like shit. I was passed out for like 4 hours today before I finally woke up. lol. Guess I was a bit tired. LOL.
You know what kind of makes me mad, is my friend, V, and her son lives with me and a week or so ago she was like "oh he's not your kid". My question is, why do I feel like I'm always takin care of him for her cause latley I have been. Like today for example, he's been very moody and he was callin me so I picked him up and he started to calm down before she took him. He may not be my kid but I sure as hell treat him like family, but since he's not mine I don't feel obligated to care for him for her. I dunno, maybe I'm mubbling and being irritated over nothing but yea.
I guess I've bee rather moodu latley. It's probably cause I haven't had a period since I stopped my treatment and I'm not working either, it's all just getting to me and these are the people around me. I dunno.. alright..later
WHORE
I feel like the biggest WHORE in the whole world. I can't believe I just did that. WTF was I thinking!! I quit things wit K and P called me yesterday and today and I finally gave in and then P just told me that he's "dating" someone but failed to say that before we got to business. WTF was I thinking!! I don't even like who I am anymore and I guess it sucks. I'm even crying over it. I need to stop all this b/s.
Why do I have to like him???
Gosh.. WTF am I thinking? Was I thinking when I started liking him? It's driving me nuts and I hate that it's eating at me. It really does suck. I can't even tell you why I like him. It's a bunch of little things that add up to a big thing. Like the color of his eyes, to the hair on his head, and the muscles on his body. It all adds up and ends up being completley attractive. The funny thing is that a few years ago I wouldn't have given him the time of day. Not only is he not my type but he was nerdy in school and call me shallow but I wouldn't have given him a second glance when we were kids. LOL. I do find that very humerous but all of a sudden I am totally attracted to him. It's weird. I hate that I like him, even with his many flaws. I just don't know what I'm gonna do. He wants me to show up at the party tomorrow but I prob won't, I'll prob stay in with my book and some tea and sit in the quiet awhile. That's the other funny thing is he swears that I'm this huge party girl or something when I really just like my life simple as can be without any complications and that's what's fun to me. Anyways... I had to vent.. Imma go clean something now. Night..
