Anywhere but Here

I wonder why I have this blog...

I rarely use it, maybe once a year at most. For some reason though I feel the need to keep it even if I only utilize it once a year. It's nice to know that when I want to I can without having to start a whole new blog. Plus, it's one of the only things no one really knows I have. That in itself is comforting.

I stare at the screen sometimes so long that I forget what I wanted to say in the first place. Either that or there's just so much going on I don't know where to start. Right now I'm thinking that typing about the deployment is most important. This is S' third deployment in 6 years, second in the last 4 years, and first since we had M and E. Thankfully it's winding down but this has been such a long separation.

Most days I'm not sure I can get through them. I have to sit back and take deep breathes because I miss him so much. Half the time I want to cry over every little thing. It all brings me to semi-tears. I hate that. I hate what moving so far away from family has done to me, but I also hated being home. I guess it's a lose-lose situation until he gets home. I suppose this is what happens when my life revolves around my family but what's a girl to do?

Like I said though, it's thankfully winding down. He'll be home soon and I'll be able to sleep better and feel better. I hate these sleepless nights and icky feelings. I hate knowing that he's out on missions instead of home with me and his children. Such is our life though, right?

I've been feeling a little depressed lately. I think it's the main reason I haven't felt like cleaning my house much and just want to sleep all day. Right now though, I'm not sure how to fix it. I don't really have the time or luxury to feel down, but I feel badly when all I wanna do is sleep. I guess I should get back into a workout routine.

Anyways... enough of my nonsense. When I have an interesting thought or something good/funny happen then I'll blog again. For now, I'll ttyl.

posted by Inkedfemme @ 6:36 PM