Anywhere but Here

Who'd a thunk it...

I'm sick now, lying in bed all day with hot/cold flashes and I still feel like shit. Who'd a thunk it, right? lol... K got me sick and thas that but he doesn't even want to take care of me when I'm down. We're not dating but he was being a butt the other night and I called him when I got home and asked him if he would be honest and tell me when and if he didn't want to f**k anymore and he was like yea. So then last night, I get this message from saying "Alright I need a week break" like we're dating or something. It pisses me off cause yesterday when I was at his house his roommate, E, was there and was like "oh it's your man's" and was like "I thought you guys were dating". I corrected it and was like "na, he's not mine, and that's his choice." We're not together! I mean I wouldn't mind it but he's being a butt latley and I'm kinda glad that he wants this "break". I kinda hate that I've been so codependent for someone, anyone and latley it's been kinda fallin on him. I want him to lay next to me. It's one of my needs that must be taken care of. I am so used to and comfortable with someone next to me and kinda falls on him these days. He doesn't want it though but thas coo. It just sucks cause I'm sick and I feel like shit. I was passed out for like 4 hours today before I finally woke up. lol. Guess I was a bit tired. LOL.

You know what kind of makes me mad, is my friend, V, and her son lives with me and a week or so ago she was like "oh he's not your kid". My question is, why do I feel like I'm always takin care of him for her cause latley I have been. Like today for example, he's been very moody and he was callin me so I picked him up and he started to calm down before she took him. He may not be my kid but I sure as hell treat him like family, but since he's not mine I don't feel obligated to care for him for her. I dunno, maybe I'm mubbling and being irritated over nothing but yea.

I guess I've bee rather moodu latley. It's probably cause I haven't had a period since I stopped my treatment and I'm not working either, it's all just getting to me and these are the people around me. I dunno.. alright..later

posted by Inkedfemme @ 6:21 PM