Anywhere but Here

Insomnia

It's 12:31 a.m. and I have to be at work at 8, but I can't seem to sleep. I've been tossing and turning for over an hour and don't know what to do, so I thought the best thing to do was blog and get whatever is on my mind off. I went back to work tonight, well, I only work on Fridays and Saturdays anyways and I talked to my friend S in Utah. She's a former friend as of tonight but it bothers me that we're only friends when she isn't occupied with her boyfriend or whatever they are. I'm only remembered when she has issues with them and "needs" me to be there for her. I've never in the 6 years that we've known each other dropped her for a guy, not even for the love of my life. She was like family and she ALWAYS came first, as most of my girl friends did, but I just don't seem to be phased with her bull shit anymore. I'm not always gonna be there when she "needs" me and I hope that she's learned that or is learning that becuase I'm tired of being on the back burner with her, and the rest of them too. I'm just TIRED!!! Can you blame me though? Yea, I didn't think so. I guess that's been on my mind more tonight then I really thought. It really bothered me though and maybe it shouldn't have as much as it did, but it did and that's that. My mind just won't seem to shut off....

Then, there's this guy that I've known for some time now and well, I dunno know, I guess I've also been thinking about him a lot and what could be. I know quite a few people don't like him for previous offenses but I dunno it's weird and very difficult to explain. What ever the case is with him, I, I've been thinking about him more and more. That and kids again, but that's for another night when I really feel like elaborating. Right now I just want everything off my chest so I can get some sleep. Lol...

I went and picked my dad up from Jackson today and we came back. I found out that my uncle, who was doing so well last I heard, is in fact NOT doing so well and my dad was a little more than irritated. My uncle is coming to California from Michigan to stay with my dad for a while and start over, start new but we don't seem to know if that's at all possible. If the rumors we've been hearing are true, my dad might just send him back. We're, as in me, my dad, and possibly my uncle, are going to be going back to Michigan the third week of September or so and I'm excited, assuming I can arrange it with my extern site. I really hope so cause I really wanna go and see my grandparents for the first time in well forever really. We'll see...

Speaking of my extern, I got one at a Methadone Clinic here in town and am a little more than thrilled cause I'll be able to learn so much there, but the hours are outrageous and I am NOT a morning person. LOL... I guess I'll learn though cause like I said, I really want this. It's a place where I can use almost all of the skills learned at school in a real like situation. I'm excited, we'll see how everything goes though...

K... well I THINK I got everything out there so now I'll try and get some sleep... Night ya'll

posted by Inkedfemme @ 12:30 AM