Anywhere but Here

In the late nights

I'm still missing him. There's still a whole in my heart and I guess it's a lot bigger than I thought it was at first cause I still miss him. Everything about him, our life together. It almost makes me want to cry but its only sometimes that I feel this way, other days I feel fine and am not worried about it but then there's nights like this that make me remember every detail of what was once "US". Now the thought of him being with someone else still makes me sick to my stomach and I don't quite know what to do. My "friend" that is supposed to make me feel better and help me forget about him isn't helping all that much but I guess I would rather deal with my feelings for him now than not to and wait the way he is. See he jumped into his next relationship like 2 years didn't matter, but it matter to me and nights like this make me want to cry when I really want him here. I know that that will never happen again but it's still sad when sometimes I really want it too. I know pathetic but I am just that sometimes. PATHETIC. I never dreamed I would fall in love so badly as I have done with him. He was my first love and the only conquerer of my heart.

On a different note, I was in SD for the weekend and for the most part had fun even though it felt like a million degrees plus humidity. I saw my nephews and my lil one and boy has he gotten big and even more adorable. I love them kids! My friend B's dog was gettin on my nerves though. That is by far the worst dog that I have ever had to watch and I haven't had to watch many but still, she was driving me nuts. We're home now and they will be back tomorrow, but for now I think I need to get some sleep some I'll tell you some more good news and stuff tomorrow. LOL...

posted by Inkedfemme @ 10:23 PM