Anywhere but Here

Why be Responsible??

The topic of tonight is RESPONSIBILITY. I don't know why I've been thinking about it latley but I have a lot. I guess with me getting married and wanting to start a family with him and juggling school and work right now, it's just something I'm constantly thinking about. That and my roommate and her kid. I know it's not something I need to think about but I can't help but worry about that kid, it's definatley a kid raising a kid and it's a little unnerving. I was talking to my dad tonight about it and he made valid points and excuses for her but that's what they were: EXCUSES. It's hard for me to say but I think that her son is better off with his grandmother than he is with her. She's just not responsible enought to raise him properly and effectivley, she barely has him as it is and what's the point of lugging that poor baby in and out of the house in the cold weather for no reason. I know I know, none of my business right well it's not really but in a way I make it my business. I can't help it. I was fortunate enough to have a dad that cares about my well being and raised with with certain ethics that now I am absolutley greatful for. I know that he's here to support me no matter what but still, the way I see it is everyone has a choice in life and if they can't be responsible and take care of business they should of made a better choice in life. Yea, it's all a gamble but you have to choose what's best and if you make the wrong choice then you need to man/woman up to those choices. I guess I'm just irritated and what not. I dunno.. a lot of shits happened in the last little while that I am absolutley excited for but then am terrified about it at the same time. Lol. I know I know why do I have to be so damn complicated. Lol..

I emailed my honey today and I think I want to postpone the wedding for just a little while longer. I'm not backing out but going back to all my responsibilities, I just don't want to jump into anything I can't handle. I love him and I want to marry him and be with him, but I did talk to his mom today and she made good points. I know him as one thing and NOT as another and I want to know ALL of him before hand. I can't be responsible and work on moving down there if I'm working on planning a wedding and a family, so first things first, get down there with him and go from there. I was moving down there even before he and I got together so I gotta take care of me before I can take care of US. You know?? I love him and I want to be with him, I just need to figure out the real us before I jump into the rest of our lives deal. I'm not one to take marriage lightly, my ex needed a lot of growing up to do and I think that's mainly why it never happened for us, that and it wasn't meant to be, and now that I look back that's okay cause I met a wonderful man through him and my life is that much more satisfying. I think it was fate, yes, I'm a believer of fate and I believe that this was suppose to happen.

Anyways.. I gotta get some homework done so imma head out.. Night

Labels: Family, Life, Love, marriage, responsibilities

posted by Inkedfemme @ 10:04 PM