Anywhere but Here

Some Nights...

I still wanna cry with overwhelming sadness and missing him. Always missing him for some reason, especially latley. Out of my own stupidity I im'ed him and told him that "It's not that I can't live with out you, it's that I don't want to." I also told him that I still loved him, again out of my own stupidity but I really do miss him. It really really dawned on me that he was really and truly my first real love and I think he had more of an impact on me then I did on him, and I took his virginity. WTF!?! I don't get it, how did I let myself get into something like that, the me before would have NEVER let that happen. Again, WTF!?! What was I thinking when all that went on, where was my mind. Luckily, I am going to therapy regularly, which in my opinion is helping tremendously, but will NEVER bring him back to me.

I just seem to be rambling tonight, I know, I know but sometimes it's healthy for me to ramble.

On the upside, I am house-sitting for my friend while she's on vacation and her dog is a f'ing menace. I mean I knew she was but good lord is she a pain in the ASS. She pisses in the house, chews on things, tries to hump my dog (they're both females), barks at every little thing, nad then doesn't really eat. Good lord! This experiece has made me realize MY dog is an incredible dog and I am completley lucky that she is the way she is cause I would have gone crazy if she was like this one. You have no idea.

A different note, I was talking to this guy in Iraq and all of sudden we stopped talking. Don't ask me why cause I don't really know and I don't really know why I'm even bringing this up cause I don't really care, I guess I just need something else to ramble about cause my mind needs to be elsewhere right now. Anywho.. I need to catch some Z's so Late...

posted by Inkedfemme @ 10:24 PM